Homie, lover or friend: Which do you want your partner to be?

We all have different needs in a relationship. For some, sharing common interests is a must; others need their partner to always have their back; and for some, being sexually compatible is imperative.


R&B star R. Kelly famously sung of having a lady who fulfilled all his needs in his hit song Homie Lover Friend. But what if you couldn’t have all three?

Check out our definitions below then tell us: If you had to choose, which of these would you most want your partner to be – your homie, your lover or your friend?




1. They’ll keep it real 

Keep it real 

A homie will have your back no matter what, but won’t shy away from telling you – in no uncertain terms and sometimes with a lack of sensitivity – if they think you’re making a bad decision. Their delivery can be a bit harsh but essentially they keep it real with you and their advice is usually spot on.

2. Been let down? They’ll step in



They’d step in – albeit reluctantly – to do with you something you’d usually do with a friend of the same sex.

Dance class

Ladies, let’s say you go to a weekly salsa class with your girlfriend but one week, said girlfriend can’t make it. This homie fella would step in and go with you. He’ll grumble about it but he’ll go because he knows you don’t want to go by yourself and – as stated in point 1 – he’s got your back.


And fellas, let’s say you’re used to meeting up with guy friends to watch football but on one occasion, your boys let you down. This homie lady will happily be your viewing partner and won’t distract you by asking what the offside rule is because she already knows.

3. They can hang with your homies




You don’t mind them hanging out with you while you’re with friends of the same sex. Picture it: your guys/girls who you haven’t seen for a while come over to check you for a few hours. This homie partner can hang out with all of you and you’re quite happy for him/her to be there.


1. Solid shoulder


Couple talking

They will provide support and encouragement when necessary, and be your shoulder to cry on. They’ll treat your dilemmas with sensitivity and offer their advice in a manner they know will be best received by you.


2. Common ground




You share the same sense of humour, enjoy the same social activities and have many common interests.

3. R.E.S.P.E.C.T


They’ll almost always come to you for advice because they respect your opinion and feel confident that the guidance you give is in their best interest.



This probably needs no explanation, but just for the sake of 100% clarity:

Your lover rocks your world (and your bed) when it comes to intimacy. He/she knows your sexual needs and fulfils them every time. You’re completely compatible sexually and, like US rapper Drake, you can declare to them: “You’re the best I ever had.”

So, ladies and gents: Which of these do you most want your partner to be? Tell us your thoughts!


Whether you’re looking for a new partner to be your homie, lover or friend – or all three – join www.dates4us.com today.

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